Locker room foibles

7/25/17 Written while “watching” the boys swim

PSA: Don’t walk and Facebook.

I just accidentally walked directly into the men’s locker room at the pool.  I’m still out of breath. Luckily (!!!) my head was down staring at my phone because it wasn’t working, so I didn’t see much. Until I did.  I have so many questions.

1. Why is the shower area the first thing you walk into when you enter the men’s locker room? Surely I’m not the only lost soul to make this mistake. It’s like they want to make it as humiliating as possible for all parties.
2. Why did it take me so long (like, count to five) to realize those were male naked body parts I was seeing, not female. Are we really not so different, after all? (I mean, so. many. butts.)
3. Do I need to start the age-old unnecessary-nudity-in-locker-rooms conversation again? Consider taking that shower at home people. At the very least, can you just cover up a little? And I’m not only talking to you men. I do admire your comfort and ease with your own body. I do. But, the rest of us just aren’t quite there yet.
4. Why is “locker room” two words, but bathroom is one? I’m spell checking the following: Living room, dining room, bedroom, parlor room. Huh, interesting.
5. How long until it is safe to leave the women’s locker room bathroom stall and go back to the pool where my kids are hopefully not drowning unsupervised?
6. Why is wifi so bad at the pool but pretty good in the bathroom stall?

PS: you can see the entrance to the MEN’S locker room in the background if you zoom in and if you have that technical knowhow. Though the word MEN is writ large from ceiling to floor, I think it’s obvious how I made my mistake. Anybody could have.